Mom! Put down the phone and look out the window.

There are very nice people at RV campgrounds who will help you.

Today we are haunted by the smell of untraceable cat piss.
On the plus side, it offers constant reassurance that neither of us has lost the sense of smell.

Once you’ve determined how long it should take you to drive from point A to point B, add 12 hours.

When packing the RV, do not get tired halfway through and start randomly stuffing things wherever they will fit.

We finally arrived in Sedona with everyone alive and more or less intact, but we learned a few things.

There are a lot of things you’ll need to take on an RV trip, and plenty of informative sites that will give you an exhaustive list. This is not one of those.

My mother may have a bit of a hermitic streak (I had to get it from somewhere), but in some ways she is a very social animal. She’d had a lot to say every time I popped in to the office over the last few days.

“No mom, I don’t want the trash can.”

The disposable underwear arrived. Turns out it looks like tampons.

Also, I’m having doubts.

The cat is a criminal.

It’s actually two nearly identical litter mates pretending to be one cat, which I suppose would make each of them only a half-time criminal if it weren’t for their long history of subterfuge and opportunism.

They are, of course, very charming.

“That’s not a bong, it’s a bud vase! Besides, I was looking at the paperweights.”

“Do you want me to order you a set?”

Most mornings, mom calls or texts to tell me the day’s bad joke, but this was not one of them.

One of the most endearing things about my mother is her belief that it will all work out just fine. It is also one of the most annoying.